sunshine
by hapsby
Summary: Sickeningly sweet, maddeningly sharp. Kurogane/Fay, Infinity Country.


**Notes:** Kurogane dethroned Fay as my favourite character once the Tokyo arc hit, and he's held it all the way up until now. Kurogane became the leader of the group in a way, and even now, in Clow Country, he's strong and brave and upstanding. His development as a character has been, by far, the most fascinating to me - and all I can do in tribute is throw together some bare and empty words. It's set a little before and during the Infinity arc. When Chii contacts Fay, he freaks out, and Kurogane holds his arm. The looks shared between them in this scene make me melt every time. [:

* * *

**sunshine**  
_-april, 1/23/09_

Fay hates Kurogane. The one blue eye stares, unfocused, like it never sees him at all; the other is a bare and dry socket, hidden under a dirty, blood-stained black cloth.

The old Fay, Kurogane thinks, would have taken great pleasure in shopping for hundreds upon hundreds of gaudy, decorative eyepatches. That Fay lived in a world where Princess Sakura smiled all the time and Syaoran was a real boy; the former is nothing but a pretty porcelain doll full of feathers and magic and disjointed memories, the latter is a stranger with the same determined gaze as their erstwhile leader. Kurogane isn't sure what he's become; isn't sure what Fay has become.

*

In countries peaceful enough or civilized enough to have restaurants, Fay ordered pink lemonade. Once, he pulled the waitress close, batted his long eyelashes, and whispered, "Top it off, sweetie - a little vodka, if you don't mind?" And the waitress scampered off, blushing to the roots of her hair. Yet another innocent person pierced through the heart by Fay Fluorite.

"Try it, Kuro-pon," he grinned, and touched Kurogane's chin with the glass.

"Get that shit away from me," Kurogane said, but he took a sip, and his eyes winced shut. "That's _disgusting_."

Fay laughed and laughed, clear as a bell. "Kuro-samaaa! You just can't handle tasty things!"

*

Fay hates Kurogane. His mouth is slack, lips twisted, every time he drinks from Kurogane's wrist. The one blue eye burns a dirty yellow-gold and the fades back again.

"You're welcome," Kurogane snorts the night they arrive in Infinity Country as he ties a bandage over the all-too pronounced scar on his wrist. "Really."

In reply, Fay sneers, but says nothing.

*

The automata, Kurogane thinks, would have been no match for Fay, back when Fay had both of his eyes and some semblance of self-preservation. She moves wildly and quickly, but Kurogane has seen Fay dance through fire without being burned; skip through enemies without being touched. In battle, Fay is actually quite beautiful to watch - a snow-pale blur; pastel lightning. Pink lemonade with a little vodka: sickeningly sweet, maddeningly sharp.

Fay stumbles, suddenly, and the one visible eye becomes huge with terror - the first emotion Kurogane has seen in it since Tokyo. Without thinking, as if he'd intended to do it all along, Kurogane throws his arm out. He wraps his fingers tightly around the bend of Fay's elbow, and wonders briefly if holding his arm like this is going to become a habit, or if Kurogane really would mind such a thing.

The magician is sweaty, panting, terrified. It has nothing to do with the kid or the princess or the automata or the chess game; Kurogane can easily tell that. But asking Fay questions never leads anyone anywhere, so Kurogane doesn't. He just stares, softly, and with as much kindness as he can muster.

Fay hates Kurogane for keeping him alive.

Kurogane hates himself for not being able to live without him.

*

Kurogane is eating quietly. Syaoran is picking mindlessly at noodles. Princess Sakura is drinking a glass of water and looks like she wants to cry or run away or hit something. Mokona rests atop her head in silence, having given up trying to lighten the mood days ago. Fay is curled up in bed, tossing and turning.

Fay was always the one who insisted they ate every meal together. He called it a bonding experience - family time, or some bullshit like that. He said they couldn't be good parents unless they spent quality time with their kids - "We gotta ask them how school went today, and make sure they're eating their vegetables," he said once, his blue eyes twinkling.

And Kurogane said something in response; something angry and childish. He can't remember now what it was, or why it matters; mainly he can't remember why he hated "family time" back then, when this is what it's become.

*

The kid and the automata continue fighting. Fay's arm trembles a little bit beneath Kurogane's fingers, but neither man makes an effort to move.

Fay whispers softly, "Kurogane, my time is up."

For a fleeting moment, they had once again become Kurogane and Fay, the Unstoppable Pair; the grown-ups who took care of their kids; the powerful, cunning ninja and the stealthy, acrobatic mage.

But the moment passes, and Fay stands alone, shivering against Kurogane's fingers.

Kurogane still isn't sure what he has become; isn't sure what Fay has become.


End file.
